#004: Metamorphosis

Everything feels lighter this year, and it's only January

Thoughts

---

One job change, one layoff, and five wild years of learning later, here I am.

I love my work—something you don’t hear people say often, but I do. I used to be obsessed with it, though. Like, unhealthily obsessed. I would talk about work all the time, day and night. Things like rebranding, logo changes, and office politics used to send me into a spiral. I had no other content in me—it was all just work, work, work. I was glued to that identity, convinced it was who I was.

Now? I still love what I do, but it doesn’t consume me. They say reaction is the root of suffering, and honestly, I’ve come to believe that. Over time, I’ve learned to question my values, open my mind, and say no to stuff that doesn’t sit right with me. I’ve started setting boundaries. It’s a big shift, going from living as your job title to just being yourself.

Long story short, when I got laid off, I took it as a sign. That little voice in my head—the one that’s usually super bossy—felt like a friend this time. It whispered, “Why not go independent? Why not do your own thing?” And so I did.

2025 feels much lighter anyway, and as spring approaches, everything feels like it’s blooming. It’s a fresh start in so many ways. Change is inevitable—that much I’ve learned. It’s good. Change stretches you, pulls out parts of yourself you didn’t even know were there. It’s everywhere: in your work, your thoughts, your surroundings—even the way you feel about the colors you wear or the food you eat.

But what no one talks about is the grief that comes with it. The grief of losing parts of yourself. Of realizing that some pieces of you are gone forever. It’s hard. Like, a weird mix of sadness and relief.

One day, you look at yourself and don’t even recognize who you’ve become. The bold, confident, workaholic boss lady? She’s not here anymore. In her place is someone quieter, softer, maybe even nerdier. What happened? Change happened. And when you lean into it, when you trust the flow of life, it’s like walking with a friend through a forest. They don’t know the way either, but you follow them anyway. And somehow, it all works out.

I’m 28, ending my sabbatical, about to get my diploma in yoga therapy (yay), and trying to get back to a path I once thought was my purpose. I lost it in the chaos of the corporate grind but found it again when I fell. Letting go of the arrogance that came with being my “best self” hasn’t been easy.

I catch glimpses of my old self sometimes, like flashes from a dream. Was that really me? Or were those just costumes I put on to fit in? Maybe this isn’t about becoming someone new. Maybe it’s about peeling away everything I’m not.

2025 Ins and Outs

In

• Cringemaxxing

• Research as a leisure activity

• Knowledge as a flex

• ASAP (As slow as possible)

• Going inward

• Substack

• Eye contact

Out

• Gatekeeping

• Perfectionism

• Over-analyzing

• Personal brand obsession

• Cribbing

  ---

Finds

-Everything is Gold - https://thecreativeindependent.com/

-Love everything about - https://www.instagram.com/index_space/
(Do sign up for their newsletter)

- Trust me, you will not stop at just one. All ‘forward thinking’ from ItsNiceThat is mind-opening, creative, and incredibly insightful. Here’s the recent -
https://www.itsnicethat.com/features/forward-thinking-why-emotion-fuels-creative-brilliance-creative-industry-130125

With love,
Lost Cleopatra

If you like to engage with me, please drop a comment, or DM me.